The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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