Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
