I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
