Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
