o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
