I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
