Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
