Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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