So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
