He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
