Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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