The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Randomize
