Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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