your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
