Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
