I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Don't tell me you're on acid again
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
