You made me cry and you don't even care
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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