Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
