Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
