thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
