P.S. I can't hear my feet
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We left an ass print on the piano.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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