It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
