he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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