i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
