i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
