Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
