she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
