My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The beer is more important than you right now.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
