ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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