So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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