He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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