he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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