now i know why i became what i already was.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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