totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
