She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
