maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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