Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
