I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
