last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
