i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
