I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i need some magic done to my vagina
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
