yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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