I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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