hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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