OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
