im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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