AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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