I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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