the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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