You're completely useless in the revolution.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
false alarm, still single
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
