Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
