he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
