lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
