fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
